Saturday, September 27, 2008
posts.
when i wake up one day, i will know this isn't just a dream. i will be sober. i will take the step forward.
but now, just let me sleep. let me be. let me rest. cos' i'm damn tired, walking down this road.
belated birthday dinner for lixiang last sunday, or what was left of what was supposed to be a raggers gathering. ha ha. but it was alright... and nostalgic, catching up on our lives. ha ha, felt a sense of "maturity" among all of us - the crazy antics that we were are gone. seems like such a long time, when it has only been two years since. when these two leave for hongkong next semester, i will miss them sh*tloads. ha ha. seriously... :p
get grossed out !
disclaimer: not my doing hor. ha ha.
but now, just let me sleep. let me be. let me rest. cos' i'm damn tired, walking down this road.
belated birthday dinner for lixiang last sunday, or what was left of what was supposed to be a raggers gathering. ha ha. but it was alright... and nostalgic, catching up on our lives. ha ha, felt a sense of "maturity" among all of us - the crazy antics that we were are gone. seems like such a long time, when it has only been two years since. when these two leave for hongkong next semester, i will miss them sh*tloads. ha ha. seriously... :p
get grossed out !
disclaimer: not my doing hor. ha ha.
8:50 PM, i wrote.
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Thursday, September 25, 2008
my heart hurts.
12:16 AM, i wrote.
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008
GRUMPS!
tons of work + dance cravings = a very dull and sad boat :(
tons of work + dance cravings = a very dull and sad boat :(
10:40 PM, i wrote.
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008
how long more will i need to forget everything we ever were?
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Friday, September 19, 2008
finally, a breather. i need my term break and its finally here. how joyous it is, i had to sprain my ankle to trotter-size to make myself stay put at home for the week.
as much as i want to rot my term break away at home, sadly, it's not going to happen. i have sh*tloads of school work; am way behind on all the action going on behind thermodynamics; and some long lost friends behind my neck for all the MIA-crap i have given them. (yes yes, my love and xiaobai.) sigh. seriously, the stress has gotten better of me. i am feeling it, full-blown, and its making me nauseated every morning. sighh.
can't be bothered - decided against school today. and it was fruitful - cleared my sleep debts, read the papers, discovered margaret cho, finished the final 4 episodes of so you think you can dance, and right now, blogging away how mundane my life is. ha ha. but its really one of the best days ever recently, i am finally able to stay home the whole day - something which i had not been doing, or rather refrained myself from doing actually. ayes, oh well.
as much as i want to rot my term break away at home, sadly, it's not going to happen. i have sh*tloads of school work; am way behind on all the action going on behind thermodynamics; and some long lost friends behind my neck for all the MIA-crap i have given them. (yes yes, my love and xiaobai.) sigh. seriously, the stress has gotten better of me. i am feeling it, full-blown, and its making me nauseated every morning. sighh.
can't be bothered - decided against school today. and it was fruitful - cleared my sleep debts, read the papers, discovered margaret cho, finished the final 4 episodes of so you think you can dance, and right now, blogging away how mundane my life is. ha ha. but its really one of the best days ever recently, i am finally able to stay home the whole day - something which i had not been doing, or rather refrained myself from doing actually. ayes, oh well.
11:03 PM, i wrote.
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Thursday, September 18, 2008
realizations
one - second chances are hard to come. i can only make my amendments, and cherish what i have now.
two - words are the deepest cuts. they bruise and will forever etch. irrecoverable. and they are double-edged swords. i had my slip of tongue today. but it's pointless to regret. i will live with the guilt that i deserve.
three - my blog is depressing. ha ha.
two - words are the deepest cuts. they bruise and will forever etch. irrecoverable. and they are double-edged swords. i had my slip of tongue today. but it's pointless to regret. i will live with the guilt that i deserve.
three - my blog is depressing. ha ha.
10:35 PM, i wrote.
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008
perhaps you don't know, i box up memories.
every bits and pieces of it. all intact, timeless, brimming with nostalgia.
and i lay them down accordingly - for some, i prefer to keep them safe in the deepest corners; some are just constantly next to me, reminding me of how i have come this far today. and there are those which i hold dearly, yet i am grappling with everyday.
but i have changed so much over the years. coming to terms with my struggles shocked me and made me realize how much cynicism has overwhelmed me. i am not crushed...definitely not. i am jaded, and it has made me so much more... powerful than ever. funny, how it has given me a sense of control over my life which i never had.
there are times when it still hurts. the wounds will never go away. but its okay. i have learned to deal.
in fact, i've learnt so much more - to cherish those who truly care, who truly love, and who truly know the meaning of being with you. once, my selfishness caused so much hurt to others. i will no longer carry on my mistakes.
every bits and pieces of it. all intact, timeless, brimming with nostalgia.
and i lay them down accordingly - for some, i prefer to keep them safe in the deepest corners; some are just constantly next to me, reminding me of how i have come this far today. and there are those which i hold dearly, yet i am grappling with everyday.
but i have changed so much over the years. coming to terms with my struggles shocked me and made me realize how much cynicism has overwhelmed me. i am not crushed...definitely not. i am jaded, and it has made me so much more... powerful than ever. funny, how it has given me a sense of control over my life which i never had.
there are times when it still hurts. the wounds will never go away. but its okay. i have learned to deal.
in fact, i've learnt so much more - to cherish those who truly care, who truly love, and who truly know the meaning of being with you. once, my selfishness caused so much hurt to others. i will no longer carry on my mistakes.
1:01 AM, i wrote.
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Sunday, September 14, 2008
mamma mia!
had sun with moon yesterday as a super-belated-make-up-birthday-dinner for alan. let the pictures do the talking bah. yum. (:
sadly, it was a super da-glam day for us. this was the shuai-est looking picture le. haa.
dinner was divine and so was the movie that comes after.
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mama mia is great~ i just have this thing for musicals. coupled with the light-hearted and hilarious plot, "oh, how can i resist ya?" haaa, catch it friends if you haven't, cos the siao cha bors in it really can make you laugh your ass off your seats. (:
sadly, it was a super da-glam day for us. this was the shuai-est looking picture le. haa.
dinner was divine and so was the movie that comes after.
mama mia is great~ i just have this thing for musicals. coupled with the light-hearted and hilarious plot, "oh, how can i resist ya?" haaa, catch it friends if you haven't, cos the siao cha bors in it really can make you laugh your ass off your seats. (:
1:20 AM, i wrote.
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Tuesday, September 9, 2008
无言以对
如果会后悔
就该学会
在爱的时候
用智慧 盖一座堡垒 收藏你的美
流过的眼泪
不算白费
谎言和是非
有点累
心痛只在回味
月光下我们走过的那条街
当时的手还牵得那么直接
是你不再留恋 还是美好终究 善变
月光下回忆在我身边穿越
你会不会残留着那感觉
熟悉的体温
留下的指纹
别过问
那天凝视你的双眼
不说一句的吻你的脸
喔~ 谁的出现 打断了永远...
i still wonder.
what will you be doing right now?
who will you be thinking of right now?
where will you be right now?
how are you feeling right now?
there are days like this - bits and pieces of shadows loomed over the places we've been before. like a faded old film, the scenes replayed in my head. i can still feel myself smiling and i can still see your warmth. i cannot question why things have turn out to be the way they are today anymore - i am too cowardly to. i don't want to succumb to despair - it really isn't worth it anymore. and knowing you, i guess you couldn't have care less - this should hurt. it should cut me. but ironically, i am actually thankful for that. for that is probably why my disappointment overtook the very hurt that could have devastated me.
no tears have fallen ever since you left.
tonight...just tonight, i shall make an exception.
9:59 PM, i wrote.
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Sunday, September 7, 2008
"Sometimes all we need is a little pampering to help us feel better" - Linus, "Peanuts Guide To Life"
splurged on my favorite japanese buffet with josh earlier at checkers brasserie. haven't been there for some time, the sashimi and green tea ice-cream are still great. (: arghs, but i really need to recover from the flu that has been plaguing for weeks - i have to give the free flow sake a pass. :( oh well, at least i get my sugar high ~
i danced today. i had great company and food. this is the kind of day that will make me smile myself silly at the end. (:
1:35 AM, i wrote.
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Thursday, September 4, 2008
why do i still care?
why won't your face go away? why do i still twitch when i remember? why do i walk on heavy footsteps as i past the places we have been before?
why am i pushing myself to breaking point?
why am i writing this anyway?
i am not sad - don't misunderstand.
i feel free, liberated. the smile on my face isn't a facade - i am not that melodramatic and you don't deserve any more grief. i am happy with how life has played on on me right now.
i just don't understand - why do i still care?
tonight i pray, that your face will fade away.
why won't your face go away? why do i still twitch when i remember? why do i walk on heavy footsteps as i past the places we have been before?
why am i pushing myself to breaking point?
why am i writing this anyway?
i am not sad - don't misunderstand.
i feel free, liberated. the smile on my face isn't a facade - i am not that melodramatic and you don't deserve any more grief. i am happy with how life has played on on me right now.
i just don't understand - why do i still care?
tonight i pray, that your face will fade away.
12:44 AM, i wrote.
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Wednesday, September 3, 2008
in this episode.
the terrorist look is the new sexy in season 5 of "who wants to score CAP 10 in chem engin?"
score an A+ for cn3132 today, wear your turbans!- or get bombed by far(k)-ooq!
11:42 PM, i wrote.
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Tuesday, September 2, 2008
sick.
no one likes to show their mugging-face.
the flu bug doesn't want to go away - dying.
sick + rainy weathers + tons of school work = grumpy boat.
on happier occasions, family time with xiaomei's twelfth birthday. (:
quote of yesterday
bimbs: "go eat shit in the toilet"
himbs: "don't have. constipating. :("
the flu bug doesn't want to go away - dying.
sick + rainy weathers + tons of school work = grumpy boat.
on happier occasions, family time with xiaomei's twelfth birthday. (:
quote of yesterday
bimbs: "go eat shit in the toilet"
himbs: "don't have. constipating. :("
7:01 PM, i wrote.
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